This past Thursday, night, we had a you leaders' meeting. The pastor of the youth asked how everyone was doing,so we just kinda updated everyone else what was going on with our lives. One of the leaders there had mentioned that he gathered with one of the youth earlier this week. He said that the youth was dealing with loneliness issues. So much so that he was crying before they met together. When I heard that, it broke my heart tremendously. I mean, I get to see this guy every Sunday and every youth service practically, and it never occurred to me that he was battling loneliness. He seems to be always upbeat, and he opens up to me pretty well when we do converse. I know it is not my job to know everyone else's problems and solve them, but I feel like I should have known about this predicament. It was not hard to notice that when I pondered on how this youth's interactions with people are like, I do not remember anyone praising him in a friendly way, asking him to hang out with them at all, or ever hear him say,"So and so just asked me to go hang out with them this Saturday." It seems like nothing really goes on with his life outside of church stuff and school. That is disheartening. I know.
In this meeting that he had with my friend, he mentioned that he literally has no friends. I do not know to what degree that is exactly,but I remember growing up with few friends. I did have two best friends back in VA, but there was a period of time when I didn't feel like I had real special friends, and this was during my adult years. No one would call me or instant message me to hang out or let alone talk. Numerous times, I felt like I was in a prison!This major extrovert here needed an out to have fun in life. When I was stuck in my room, there was times that I felt I was suffocating. That would happen when I had absolutely nothing to do. Now be it, maybe I could have made a better effort to contact my "friends" to show interest in hanging out with them but still, it would have felt good to feel wanted.
A few months ago, a friend of mine who is younger than me, said some of the most sobering words I needed to hear in all the seasons of my life. In the midst of these words, he said that I am afraid of being alone. I didn't know how to take that! I wanted to refute him so bad because I wanted to prove that that kind of insecurity did not exist with me anymore....but I couldn't. I was going to this family's house at least every other weekend to spend time with them and to get away from that which is so familiar in my surroundings where I live. When I go there, I lose phone signal so I practically am ghost to those who try to reach me, and I LOVE that. Granted, I can miss a serious situation back home if someone tried to reach me, but I do like to get away from it all. So I receive good perks when I go away, but the statement that my friend made, made me wonder,"Am I afraid to be alone? Do I try to band-aid the fear of loneliness with my friends?"- I think those are healthy questions to ask.
The subject of this blog is not the fear of loneliness, but how do people deal with loneliness. That youth I mentioned above deals with it by crying about it(I say that with sincere care) because apparently the sense of shame has consumed him to the point of tears. This person is also a teenager, so he is not a little kid. As for me, I have dealt with loneliness by going to other peoples' houses. I know there is nothing wrong with community and friendship(especially if it's deep), but what about when I am alone? Shouldn't I feel okay? I am a christian, and as a Christian, I strive to believe that God is always with me wherever I am.I don't always believe that truly in my heart and that's a scary thing. It's scary because it can make you vulnerable to always feel lonely when you're alone. I'll write that again. It's scary because it can make you vulnerable to always feel lonely when you're alone. 'Well duhhh Daniel, of course you'd feel lonely because you ARE alone!!' is what you may be thinking but hear me out. You may be alone but you don't have to feel alone. God is everywhere in the form of his Spirit. The bible promises that God draws near unto those who draw near unto Him. It also says that He is near the broken-hearted. However this issue might minutely sound, that young youth is going through something that has rocked his soul and so I hope I get to tell Him that truth about God before it's too late. I can't remember all the times I heard about suicide victims who killed themselves because of the loneliness they have felt. It's like they feel invisible and no one cares about them. I will make an effort to prove to this youth that he is important and a friend of mine.
Thanks for reading this. It feels good to open up about these sort of things, especially when I know others are going through it in the world. I want to strongly encourage you to be on the lookout for those who may be suffering from loneliness. Tell them and show them that they are important to you. If you are one who is struggling with loneliness, don't give up on humanity. Sometimes it takes you to take the initial step to introduce yourself to someone else so that they can see how awesome you are. I know the value of having real friends but I also know the struggle it is to maintain real friendships. It takes work, but often times we find that as we strive to work on our friendships, we enjoy out-of-the-blue moments that become lifelong memories. Those are good because even when you are not physically with that person, you can think on those memories and not feel lonely in your heart.
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